Re: General Chat: July 2013

[Heart of Lyoko]

Hey 'Lita, I think that you did the right thing. You've already tried your best to help him, but if he doesn't want your help and keeps shooting you down, so be it. I'm sure that there is someone out there who genuinely needs the help and support you've given.
Your friend seems like a really petty person, no offense. He may have turned many of your friends against you, but everyone at XL will always be here to help and support you

[Snickie]

The power did come back at some ridiculous hour when I was finally almost asleep. (Any hour something happens to wake me up while I'm trying to sleep is ridiculous lol).  We think it was a crash at an intersection nearby (with a confirmed timestamp for when it happened), and one of the cars must've rammed hard into the power pole which cut off power for like this entire side of town.  We kept hearing sirens at random intervals throughout the night.

[cya6]

I feel it's a tricky call.  On one hand, I know it's frustrating to be there for someone who just DOES NOT accept help.  And if he couldn't even admit that he was the problem, that's impossible.
On the other hand, I've been in that position.  The one where EVERYTHING gets to you and you can't help but fall to pieces over everything.  And the feeling that you're bothering people, or annoying them, or driving them away is terrifying.  And I'm always terrified I'm gonna lose the people who mean the most to me.  That people are going to abandon me when everything is at it's lowest because they can't deal with me.

I get both sides.  And it's really tricky.  It is.
But if he's actively driving people away, ie:  blaming you, pushing you away, saying you can't be friends anymore, I mean, there's only so much you can try.

[aelitaxwilliam]

You need to think about yourself first, Dani. Which, that sounds really selfish, but it is what it is. Does he drag your day down? Do you get moodier or angry or upset when you talk to him? Do you start wishing he wouldn't talk to you? I'm not trying to imply that this is what you feel, but I think you do need to ask yourself these questions. If he's having an adverse effect on your mental health and how you feel, and it sounds like he has, then that's okay. You have no obligation to try to help someone if you don't feel up to it. You also have no obligation to help someone who won't help himself. I'm not a psychologist, so don't take my word for it ofc, but he sounds like he might have the victim mentality too, which is really annoying to deal with. Dear god is it difficult to convince someone that not everything that happens to them is someone else's fault and that they could make even the tiniest of actions to change a small bit of their life. Ofc, depression kind of f/cks with you, so you have to take that into account. I still don't think you need to be listening to him shoot your ideas down and complain about your problems though. You're not a therapist, and he should know that. (does he have a therapist though? getting professional help might be best)

You didn't mention this, but if you ever do try to patch things up, you should probably also set some clear boundaries: you are not his unpaid, personal therapist, and he shouldn't treat you like one!

[LongHairedAelita]

Thanks guys.

@Kelly: See, that's my downfall. I often put other people before me. Yeah, I know I can seem kind of mean from time to time, but that's just something about me. I can never say no. I love helping people. But him... Omg. He did begin to annoy me and stuff, to the point where I said I was busy and stuff. Then that night, I thought it wasn't right of me to do that, so I webchatted with him. He was quiet the whole thing. He didn't say anything at all really, which kind of made me mad. So I told him I had to go. Then the next day, when I told him off, he said that he missed me was all, and stuff. And I'm sitting here like: "okay, if you really missed me, why didn't you just tell me? You had all that time on webchat to talk to me, but you chose to stay quiet!" I've been thinking about trying to patch things up, but he seems to want to be hardheaded. But Idc.

@HeartOfLyoko: Thanks lol. Btw, you can call me LHA or Dani.  & it's sad to say, but he kind of is petty. He lets the most littlest things get to him. Honestly, I kind of feel that he wasn't telling the full story, like there was more to what was happening. But I don't know.

@Cya: Yeah, so do I. Lol. (Don't really know what else to say. )

[Atlas]

Did I do the right thing?
I need you guys' opinions. Be honest too.

Late to this but I'm on the other side of the fence from the popular opinion. I say 'no'. I say no though not because you should have stuck with him but because it seems you did a poor job communicating to everyone what the problem is.

I had a whole long rambling talk about this that involved a poker analogy but I'll try to keep it shorter this time :p

You two seem close whether you like it or not. He seems to have helped you as well. This doesn't mean that you owe him. But it does mean that you have skin in the game and you need to deal with it since it's having consequences.

I'm not going to tell you to run back and say how sorry you are to him. That's up to you. But what you do need to do is you need to be clear to both him and you other friends that your frustration doesn't stem from him as a person but rather his current behavior (if you feel like that). You'll smooth over relations with your friends at the least with this.

As for the man himself, like I've said that's your call.  There's no wrong answer. But feel free to ask around here if you do plan to go back and I'm sure our Hive Mind will help you get somewhere!

[Heart of Lyoko]

Right now, I want to tear my hair out. I have to rush two sets of Mathematics homework, due tomorrow, and they're impossible to do.
Apart from that, I have to settle my Red Cross Youth stuff, including planning two lessons and editing some long meeting notes. And both are due today.
I'm going crazy. Here comes another sleepless night.

[cya6]

I'm confused.  You're still in school?

[Heart of Lyoko]

Yeap, I'm from Singapore, so we don't have Summer holidays. Our work is crazy too.

[cya6]

That's not even remotely ok.  I  would die.

[Heart of Lyoko]

We have a one-week break in March-April and September, a month-long break in June, and a 2month+ break from late October onwards, till January. Still not enough for us though haha

[Coto524]

Doesn't Singapore use a streaming system in schools?

[Heart of Lyoko]

Yeah, we do. Express, Normal Academic and Normal Technical. I'm in the express stream.

Even in the Express steam, my school is 'split' into three, and is based purely on our Sciences, and the number of subjects we take. It's just my school though, I guess.
The 'smartest' are in one class and take 8 subjects, with Physics, Chemistry and Biology and one Humanities.
After that, we have another 3 classes that take 8 subjects too, but this time with two Sciences and two Humanities.
Then, we have two classes taking 7 subjects, with two Sciences and one Humanities
Lastly, there are the last 2/3 classes who take 7 subjects too, but this time with one Science and two Humanities.

Yeah, we are pretty much put in different 'levels' based on the number of subjects and Sciences we take.

[Guest]

Big news in Egypt.

[memoire-blanche]

Oh my... and my friend is flying there for holidays this week.

[Snickie]

I'm not paying any attention to what's going on in Egypt.
I'm sick of hearing about it on the news.
I'm almost as sick of hearing about it as I am of hearing all about the George Zimmerman trial.

[Guest]

Oh my... and my friend is flying there for holidays this week.

Not the best time for sure.

Hope the MB doesn't do anything stupid. They're already screaming coup d'etat.

[LongHairedAelita]

Yeah. The George Zimmerman thing is getting really annoying. Also, the Shaniya Davis case is annoying too, considering it actually happened where I'm at. Ugh. I honestly want to get away from North Carolina. I really do.

[Snickie]

I've got about 100 email conversations from News 13 with the word Zimmerman in them sitting in my inbox.

[LongHairedAelita]

I have a headache. Ugh. 
I couldn't really give a damn about George Zimmerman, Egypt, or any of that crap right now.

[Atlas]

Big news in Egypt.

 Wins Understatement of the Thread. Why aren't more people paying attention to this?

[LongHairedAelita]

Here's my opinion on the whole Egypt thing.

IF THE DAMN USA WOULD KEEP THEIR NOSE OUT OF OTHER COUNTRIES NONE OF THIS CRAP WOULD BE HAPPENING. Smh.

[Coto524]

And now the army actually has ousted President Morsi from his position. We are living in interesting times...

[Guest]

Here's my opinion on the whole Egypt thing.

IF THE DAMN USA WOULD KEEP THEIR NOSE OUT OF OTHER COUNTRIES NONE OF THIS CRAP WOULD BE HAPPENING. Smh.

I am not a fan of the united state's foreign policy, but in this specific case, it wouldn't have mattered. 

Morsi is just there for show. The MB and the general guide were the real rulers of the country. The people elected Morsi not because they love the MB (they sympathized with them though because they were imprisoned and hunted during Mubarak's regime... and Sadat's... and Abdel Nasser's...) but for the simple fact that he was running against a man they considered an integral part of Mubarak's system (Ahmed Shafik) and at that point in time, anyone associated with Mubarak was never going to get a place in the new government (even though he narrowly lost to Morsi). 

What happened in a year during Morsi's rule? a lot of things. Most of them weren't pleasant. The debate remains whether or not anyone would have managed to stabilize the country in a single year (Morsi certainly failed) but at the same time, he showed his and the MB's incompetence. They would have never survived four years.

[Atlas]

Lot of truth there.

This is really the painful time of transition for Egypt and it'll be interesting to see what comes out of all this.

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