Summary Help: Battleship: Code Lyoko

[PeaceKeeper2014]

I need your opinions on this summary for Battleship: Code Lyoko, a cross-over fan-fiction being written by me.

Summary:


A special field trip to watch the NATO Naval War Games become more than just a game. Yumi, Ulrich, and new student Natalie Thomas become part of the conflict as XANA materializes and places an activated tower into the ocean off the shores of France and Britain. He then materializes his monsters to combat the fleet, and to also cause havoc on solid ground.

With Jeremy, Odd, and Aelita left back at school, Yumi, Ulrich and a fellow student are aboard one of NATO's destroyers. After XANA seals Kadic, Normandy, and the fleet in the English Channel with a force shield, the group have no choice but to reveal their secret to save the lives of everyone they know and everyone in the fleet. But, XANA does not know that he has sealed the last remaining Battleship to remain in the entire world. Now, the Lyoko Warriors must fight in the seas to stop XANA's plan. The Battle for Earth and Mankind Begins....... At Sea.

[PeaceKeeper2014]

Any suggestions would be nice.

[SeeMeInTheShadows]

Summarywise: I think it sounds interesting. My only suggestion would be to maybe tone down the different names (NATO, FS Paris, USS Missouri, etc). I mean, it's not hard to follow, per se, but sometimes that's a little to much information. Loved the last sentence. I would tone down the fact you have an OC, personally, because, depending where you post them, they can have a good or bad wrap. But the it definitely captures interest.

[PeaceKeeper2014]

So, I should remove some of the names to keep reader interest up? Well, I think I'll edit it to sound better. Thanks for the feedback, though. I think I should also keep the OC out of the summary, except to hint it a little.

[Atlas]

Looks good to me man.

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